Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
