he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
love makes seman taste better
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
