he puts the penis in happiness.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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