ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
