went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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