forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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