the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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