Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
