hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
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