Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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