tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
