Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize