Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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