Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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