No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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