Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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