Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
