Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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