i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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