Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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