Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
