Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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