Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
