I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
