I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
