well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize