their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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