this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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