I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
