Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude. I can hear the air.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
