I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
