is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
