Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
