i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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