So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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