So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Help. Why am I so naked?
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