she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
