i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
