whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
