Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
