if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
