There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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