I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the raccoons are back...
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