Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
