So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
