I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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