I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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