he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
