He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
