I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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