Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
