I hate your face
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
