Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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