im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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