Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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