I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize