as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
