He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
