I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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