i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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