she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish you could order shots online.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What drink are we having for lunch?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
