hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
