went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
