i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
