I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
