I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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