Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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