Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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