Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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